sometimes you have to stop and smell the chamois butter

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

new title

Here we are in the dead of winter and I am left with no excuses for slacking on my blog posts.  Not that anyone would actually read my dribble or give a flying monkey-crap what I have to say, but it's my blog and I really don't care.  It's all about me here people.  I was recently asked why I have a blog in the first place and my response was to empty my brain of all the words crowding up space in my head.  After all, there is not a lot of extra space left because of all the useless information pertaining to bikes and the rides that I dream about dancing around in there.
So as I was going through my morning ritual of sipping delicious coffee and reading other blogs where people make money and actually have a dedicated readership, a light went off.  Well maybe no one cares about my blog because the name is (insert yawn), kinda boring.  Wheel Life- what does that mean anyway?  This could be a blog about cars, shopping carts, wheelchairs, baby joggers or roller skates with a name like that.  The name needs some oomph, magical power or some secret message.
With that said I would like to throw out some new names.

1.  Chain driven - because, well bikes can't go anywhere without a chain.  Duh!

2.  The Squeaky Drivetrain - like fingers on a chalkboard to bike geeks, nothing gains more attention than the audible screams of chain without proper lubrication.

3.  Vintage Toe-Baskets - why do people call them toe-clips anyway?  Baskets hold more than clips and throwing vintage in there make the name much more marketable.

4. Clipless - of course this is the antithesis of toe-baskets and could inevitably increase your power-ratio and efficiency.

5. Handlebars and Brake levers-  I like to hang on and go, and stop if the need arises.  Besides, I don't ride a fixie and my huge cycling legs won't fit into skinny jeans.

6.  The Grease is always Greener - I think there is a certain truth to the adage things look better from the other side of the fence.  It's human nature to suffer in some fashion.

7.  Just Riding Along - this is what happens the moment before the wheels come off.

8. L' Arriere du Peloton - because I am always off the back.

9. Amor Bicicletta - ahh bike love, and it has a nice European flair which gives it much more credibility.

10. The Well-lubed Chamois - I bought stock in Assos chamois butter this year 'cause it literally has saved my ass.

11. Chamois without Panties - please do not wear your undies whilst in bike shorts.  It hurts me on a deep level.  I see those lines on your butt and if you think it's gross to go underpantsless, well buy a freakin' washing machine.

As you can see I took it to eleven, because these days top tens are all the rage and far be it from me to jump on the bandwagon.  I would like to ask of the six of my readers to vote on their favorite.  And remember, your choice should be influenced by what would look good on a cycling kit. 

1 comment:

  1. Did you really buy stock in Assos? For the record - I'm anti-chamois and even less into the cream used with the chamois. That said, the thought of you feeling so strongly about chamois butter that you bought stock in Ass Sauce is almost enough inspiration to get me to ditch the cotton panties and slip into a pair of bike shorts. I think I would use the cream for something else though.